one year ago, i was not in a good place

one year ago, i was not in a good place.

i lived in endless fear and severe trauma.

the things i had been suppressing for most of my life resurfaced and there was nowhere to hide anymore. yes, not even work. i had to look the dreadful things in the face and tell myself the truth about myself.

one year ago, i felt lost and i didn’t know who i was. i was simply a body moving passively through, thinking i had it all figured out. i allowed people (family, friends, workplaces) to abuse me and take advantage of me and my kindness and commitment. i didn’t think I deserved any better. i didn’t know I deserved more.

you’ve got to love life because ultimately it’ll remind you to slow down; life will require the truth from you and the more you resist, the harder it is to breathe peacefully.

today, all i can say is i am exceptionally grateful for time and healing. i am thankful for getting reacquainted with me. i didn’t know who I was and when i found out, it turned out ive been an artist all along - and all-around talented creative person. it felt like a rebirth, honestly. i frankly don’t know where i would be if i did not finally, become honest with myself; if i didn’t ultimately decided to love myself for being myself and give me flowers.

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this entry was inspired by this tweet: https://twitter.com/callmewilsar/status/1397211723174645764?s=21